| Author | Message | ||
| Vienna
Senior Member Username: vienna Post Number: 385 Registered: 11-1998 |
Thanks for the crits already received on this. I think it needed an extra verse and to read as a fairly fast paced piece. Here goes.... V  The Dream-Horses They own pearl-boned intricacy of limb; molten words woven into forelocks. Almond breathed, salt lustred under the thinnest smile of the moon; they circle a softness of stone, arc and fuse in fierce air; intoxicated with a warm geography of roses. Under branches glanced with stars, suggestions of dapple and dun; a cool collusion of ghosts. Subtle tricks of the wind, sidle-shy uncurlings in fern and foliage. Burning and biting they dip and rear; flint-hoofed, ablaze with night. Adorned with sorrel and southernwood they dance, shake tangles of mane from owl-tawny eyes. Arch crest over crest, roll languid and lathered, their delicate weight entangled in a phosphorescence of dying things. (Message edited by Vienna on November 22, 2005) (Message edited by Vienna on November 22, 2005) 'All of us get lost in the darkness Dreamers learn to steer by the stars' Neil Peart My poetry books at Lulu http://people.lulu.com/users/index.php?fHomepage=101596 | ||
| Kathy Paupore
Senior Member Username: kathy Post Number: 2711 Registered: 12-2003 |
Vienna, enjoyed. There is a music to your words. I felt like I was a kid watching a magical merry-go-round. K | ||
| Zephyr
Senior Member Username: zephyr Post Number: 3233 Registered: 07-2003 |
I saw white horses Vienna.... however this is interpreted it is lovely, beautiful images. | ||
| Teresa White
Valued Member Username: teresa_white Post Number: 300 Registered: 01-2005 |
Vienna, A beautiful poem made even better with the addition of the new stanza. You must have a love of horses to write about them so well. Truly enjoyed, Teresa | ||
| LJ Cohen
Moderator Username: ljc Post Number: 3461 Registered: 07-2002 |
"a phosphorescence of dying things. " Ahhhh. Lovely. best, ljc http://ljcbluemuse.blogspot.com/ | ||
| Lisa
Advanced Member Username: lisa_m Post Number: 200 Registered: 11-2003 |
Hey V, beautiful writing and they REALLY are dancing. So much to love here that l could write pages, so instead l'll just say that l absolutely adore the ending and that it is the PERFECT end. best wishes, Lisa |
